it's been a while. i dont even know what day it is. i lost this..diary. is that what i should call it? by definition, a diary is "a daily record, usually private, of ones thoughts, feelings, experiences, emotions, etc..."

is that all it is? no, its so much more. its my escape. my one shining light in this dark, pitiful hole.

solitude is nice sometimes. i dont have to deal with people. but i realized just 10 minutes ago:
i NEED people. sane people. i've had no one to talk to since, im guessing about 2 weeks ago. but i could be wrong. i just now weighed myself. 105 pounds. is that healthy? what is healthy anymore?

i went through my ex roomy's closet the other day. i found a sealed cardboard box that reads "do not open. ever. until the time is right." normally curiosity would've gotten the best of me. but it's just kind of..sitting there on my table. tempting me. but im..afraid. no matter how hard it is to admit, or no matter how afraid i already am. the box scares me. no noises come from it, so im guessing nothing alive is in there.

keyword: alive.

and what does it mean when it says "until the time is right"? guess i'll just know when it happens.

i've decided tomorrow im going to the store. but i haven't figured out how yet. i remember hearing something about the first four floors or so were blocked off...
how am i to get down?
and what of those hidious Arachni? its weird. i want to see one up close. but we all know that as soon as i get close enough to see it's face...